New Weight Loss Plan

I've decided that if I truly want to lose weight, I should eat every meal at Fazoli's and use their forks with the crazy tines. The other day at the fast-food Italian restaurant I discovered that the shape of the plastic forks makes it impossible to pick up a piece of penne pasta, especially if the pasta is covered with low-fat marinara. I stabbed each piece of pasta at least 5 times before I could finally pick it up and pop it in my mouth. Forget trying to get more than one piece on the fork at a time.

Here is why this is a great weight loss program: 1) It took longer for me to eat. I had several seconds between bites fighting with the pasta. 2) Because I ate slower, I filled up faster and ate just half of the small portion. 3) Even if I was still hungry, the frustration level would have encouraged me to quit eating much earlier than normal. 4) The iceberg lettuce in the side salad was much easier to pick up, so I ate more of the tasteless salad than the pasta.

On a subsequent visit, I inadvertently ordered a pasta with a meat sauce. Oops! Because the meat sauce is thicker than the marinara, I had no problem picking up the pasta and eating the entire thing.

So, skip the garlic butter coated breadsticks (which can be eaten with your fingers) and stick to penne or some other hard to pick up pasta with marinara.