Not sure why I have been having so much trouble blogging lately. Though if I really think about it, it probably has something to do with the fact I've been doing a little running.
For me, running is not fun: it doesn't feel good, it is hard and I just don't like it. These feelings about running are probably why I don't do it enough and why I still cannot run a mile without stopping. I believe my training for next week's Warrior Dash has fallen flat because I simply don't enjoy running.
I'm also disappointed that running is not getting better any faster. Well, let me clarify -- it is a little bit easier. I no longer feel as if I'm going to have a heart attack and die within the first 10 seconds. And I am no longer gasping for air like a fish out of water. But I still can run no farther than about 2 minutes at a time. Then I need to take a huge walking break before I can run for less than 2 minutes.
The reason I'm not getting better faster is because I'm not training as I should. I'm just not running enough to get better.
There have been days when I have sat in my family room thinking, "Oh, no. I have to run today!" Then I would have an ongoing internal argument with myself until it is just too late to go or it has started raining or something else comes up to prevent me from going. In my own sick little world, I have celebrated when I have talked or tricked myself out of running. (And because I am not exercising, I'm gaining weight.)
Here is what I have learned from this running experiment. If someone does not like the exercise chosen, she won't do it. It is that simple.
I don't like running, hence I don't run. Even with a race looming over my head, I'm not training hard enough to have met my bare minimum goal of being able to run 1 mile before race day. I've had months to prepare for this, it was a goal that was attainable, but I have talked myself out of it. And because I'm not running, I'm not racewalking either.
OK, the Warrior Dash is strictly for the fun of it. But part of what makes a race fun is being physically capable of completing it, right? Would I plan to racewalk a marathon with this little preparation? No.
So, I will go out for a run shortly because it is nice out right now and I know it will get hot soon. I will even try to run a couple more times before next Sunday. I know I will have fun at the race because the people going are fun. And maybe I'll even do better than I think I will.
Still, I'm a little disappointed that I was unable to meet my minimum goal of running just one measly mile.