Tuesday, February 09, 2010


Some people just have great self control and self discipline. I've mentioned before that my dad had the most self discipline of anyone I have ever known.

I do not.

Though I am very goal-oriented, I need measurable benchmarks, and I really enjoy success -- but sometimes I sabotage myself. For example, I've wanted to lose 10 lbs. for a couple of years. Sometimes I gain weight, sometimes I lose weight, but I still have not lost that 10 lbs. A few weeks ago I decided I really want to lose that weight and again started tracking what I eat. Tracking calories is supposed to help people to make smart health decisions and to eat better. I gained 2 lbs.

Well, the next week I lost the 2 lbs. and eventually lost an additional pound. I immediately could not control my urge to eat a bacon blue cheeseburger, didn't exercise all weekend and gained it right back. (Yes, I did write it down. The calorie count that day was outrageous!)

I often start very well. I don't like breakfast, so I make myself eat whole wheat toast with peanut butter or a healthy granola bar (Kashi brand). Mid-morning I eat fruit. I've had some really healthy lunches and felt great. But if I let myself get hungry in the afternoon, or after dinner -- everything falls apart. Even with no change in my purse, I find a way to buy a bag of Doritos from the vending machine. Once I get home I think I'll have one cracker with a little cheese while I'm cooking something nice and healthy, and before I know it I'm no longer hungry and half the box of crackers is gone.

I sometimes do it with exercise, too. Saturday I didn't walk because of the snow. Understandable. Sunday, I didn't even attempt to go outside and found out too late that the trail at Sharon Woods was clear and others had a great walk. (I needed 8-10 miles to stay on my training schedule.)

So, I have to wonder -- why do I sabotage my success? What am I afraid of? The next thing I need to figure out is how to stop it.

There are two things I know for sure.

If I make a race into a big event, I am always prepared. I'm confident I will finish the Arizona Distance Classic, though the weather has not been conducive to the type of training that would help me PR. (This one will be for fun.) If I do choose a full marathon for later this year, I will PR.

Second, if my son bets me that I cannot do something -- I won't fail! This goes toward the push up challenge. He bet $20 that I won't be able to do it. I will.

So, if I could get someone to care about how much I weigh other than just me, or if I could make it some type of challenge or big event, I know I'd be successful.


Anonymous said...

Alright, Cindi, I bet you $20 you can't lose the 10 pounds by June 1and keep it off for 1 year. You need to join my challenge with some of my other buddies. Big dinner on the line at the end of they year.

At least you know what your problem area are for eating. Seems like you have trouble afternoon and when you get home from work. My trouble areas too. As you probably know, you need a solid breakfast with protein, and you need to make your mid afternoon snack (yogurt, or handful of nuts or cheese or fruit or some combo) a priority. And, get rid of the snacks and crackers at home!

Good luck. Larry

Cindi said...

This is why I hate you. You are always right! (I am walking faster BTW.)

I have been making some adjustments, like adding roasted almonds and yogurt to my snack list.

I just need to be an adult and act (eat) like one.

Anonymous said...

Way to be Cindi!